Besides that one scene in The Meaning of Life, of course.

One of my favorite movies is Stuart Saves His Family, which for some reason completely flopped at the box office and was thus one of the key motivating factors in Al Franken’s decision to leave Saturday Night Live for good. Nevertheless, it’s terribly, terribly quotable, and the following scene is no exception. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the best restaurant scene in any movie anywhere:

SCENE: Stuart is working at his day job as a server. At the moment, he’s completely oblivious to his guests as he is instead sitting at a table receiving counseling from one of his many 12-Step sponsors. Suddenly, one of the tables in his station catches him, so he gets up and heads over.

Stuart: Have you had enough time to look at the menu?
Patron: We’ve had enough time to memorize the menu.
Stuart: I’m sorry, I’m having a personal crisis. Can I take your order?
Patron: For my wife, the penne arriviata; I will try the osso bucco.
Stuart: You know, the osso bucco is extremely fattening. You might want to try…
Patron: I’ll try the osso bucco. And also the mixed baby field greens.
Stuart: Lo-cal vinaigrette?
Patron: Creamy Caesar.
Stuart: On the side?
Patron: On the salad.
Stuart: Thank you.
Patron: And I’d like another double scotch.
Stuart: No.

Love.

And yes, I’ve seen Waiting, and no I did not like it, as it was not even close to an accurate depiction of just how crap a job serving really is. But for those of you that have seen it, I’m totally Naomi. OK, so maybe I did kind of like it after all, if only for that reason.

Filed by Trevor at 4:06 pm under Pop Culture