Filed by Trevor at 5:59 am under Atheism, Religion, UU

I go through these weird cycles where I’ll get up at some ridiculous hour of the morning and, for lack of a better occupation at 2:30 a.m., stare at Homestar Runner and drink green tea for an hour or so before swiffering my floors for the umpteenth time. These are the days I enjoy the most, actually — the ones where I’ll look up from my work and notice it’s only 11:00 when it really feels like 5:00 in the afternoon. As I’m writing this, I still have a kitchen full of dishes left over from my birthday dinner, empty wine glasses on my table, and a disconcerting amount of dirty laundry that’s found its way to my living room; every so often the air fills with the sound of the clanks and thuds of the heaters kicking on all over the building. It may be free, but I doubt I’ll ever get used to the sound of the metal casings surrounding the radiators bowing and flexing as they heat up.

I’m doing my best to infuse as much ritual into my life as will fit, mornings especially as I am an extreme night person. For example, I did something on my birthday that I’ve never done. It had been one of those days where I was wide awake at 3, but of all days I was glad I was. This is my first genuine autumn since my days in Colorado, and as though it were planned, the wind and rain kicked up significantly just in time for me to turn a year older. One of my favorite things to do is sit inside and listen to the rain, but I rarely have the time just to sit and do nothing else. So I closed my windows, turned off the lights, and lit every candle in my apartment — including the gorgeous star one of my buddies gave me as an early gift. I grabbed the heavy brown afghan my grandmother knitted for me, parked myself on the couch, and listened to Tom Waits’ Alice from beginning to end. Perfect.

Until I blew them all out afterward and noticed that I have no idea how to retrieve the melted wax from the crystal wine tumblers I’m using as votives. I can’t do anything right.

I’m thinking this is something I must implement more often, provided I can actually resurrect myself at an early enough hour to do so. Anyway, as I mentioned, I’m greatly enjoying this hard shift into fall more than one would think, despite the fact that it gets colder daily. I particularly love the really windy days when the skies are cloudless and the air is full of the smell of leaves — on such occasions I make it a point to throw on my peacoat and head up to the little coffeeshop near my home just so I can get out in it. If you’re sensing optimism, you aren’t misled; I’m getting it all out of my system in anticipation of my very first nine-month Midwestern winter. I think I’ll have a dinner party every week in lieu of having one of those special indoor lamps that keep you from killing yourself.

In other news, I’m still sky-high from finally seeing Julia Sweeney perform Letting Go Of God live at the Lakeshore last week. Turns out the audience was essentially full of Unitarians, seeing as how she’s the patron saint of faithful atheists worldwide, and it was funny to see her reaction as we all crowded around her after the show. And yes, I was a nerd and got a picture and an autograph — I even propped up the autographed CD on one of my bookshelves when I got home. It all started with a little atheist confessional, and now I feel as though I’ve come full circle.

I think I’ll have me some Wailin’ Jennys this morning. Any suggestions for tomorrow?