Filed by Bil at 10:48 pm under General, Social Issues

This is my favorite awkward news since I read about Blagojevich’s arrest.

Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied

Yes. If you read that, you read that right. This guy in New Jersey who named his child Adolph Hitler Campbell thinks that people need to not be so stuck up about the kid’s name. To quote Mr. Campbell:

“There’s a new president and he says it’s time for a change; well, then it’s time for a change,” the 35-year-old continued. “They need to accept a name. A name’s a name. The kid isn’t going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did.”

Come on now. A name is a big deal. We all know that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but we might not ever bother to smell it at all if it bore the label “Stinky shitflower.” A rose is known for smelling sweet, and so we see the word “rose” and we think of a sweet smell. If you met a person named Adolph Hitler, you might automatically assume this person executes Jews and gay people by the dozen.

And sure. As a society, we should not be prejudicial. The kid may grow up to be a genuinely good person despite the name his parents gave him. Anyway, he’s only 3 now. He is still an innocent soul. What concerns me is how the poor kid is going to grow up. Almost everyone he meets is going to have an unusual reaction when they learn his name. That’s bound to have an effect on him. More importantly, how is he going to feel when he learns in history class about the Adolph Hitler of World War II and the Holocaust? How is he going to view his own parents when he realizes that they respected that man enough to name their child after him? How is he going to overcome all this?

And another thing: “…it’s time for a change?” A change for what? Acceptance of Neo-Nazism? Do we need to start seeing Hitler in a more positive light? You can’t hijack that phrase. Asshole.

Now, I’m all about free speech; I don’t believe any names should be banned or anything. But when you make the claim that you like the name and choose it for your firstborn son just because “no one else in the world would have that name,” you’re not convincing anyone. Don’t pretend you’re not aware of the significance. You knew what you were doing. I will believe in your freedom to make those choices, but I will also believe that you’re a fool. Don’t name a kid Adolph Hitler and think that people will be okay with that. Names matter.

Whatever.

In case you didn’t read the little article there, let me just highlight a few of my favorite things about it:
- The parents not only wanted the name Adolph Hitler on the boy’s cake, they also wanted a swastika.
- Adolph Hitler Campbell has a younger sister named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. I am not making this up.
- The local grocery store wouldn’t print the name on the cake, but Wal-Mart did.