Filed by Bil at 10:47 pm under General, Social Issues

It occurred to me a couple of hours ago that I put up a post on this blog earlier today that had nothing to do with something that happened to me and everything to do with other people. It’s a postitive-energy open letter to people who complain online about a reality TV show. I put that up instead of my amazing anecdote about what actually happened in real life, involving me directly. So never mind them now. Here’s what happened to me this morning…

As I approached the top of the stairs at the train station on my way to work this morning, I passed a lost-looking teenager. Somehow she made eye contact with me, despite the fact that I was a) wearing sunglasses, and b) trying to avoid eye contact with other human beings at that hour. She nodded and said, “Hey.” So I nodded and said, “Hey.” (For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.) As I passed by, she mumbled something. I had absolutely no interest in striking up a conversation; I was still making efforts to avoid eye contact, let alone talk, so I resisted the urge to ask her to repeat herself and I pretended not to hear. I went and sat on the bench further down the platform.

This teenager then walked up to me, and I knew that she was going to repeat what she had said anyway. There was nothing I could do.

“Can I be your sugar?”

I just blinked at first, thinking of how to respond. I was not as surprised as I could have been, because this sort of thing seems to happen to me from time to time.

“Oh, no, no,” I said, “I’m married. Thank you, though.”

Without missing a beat, she then said, “You wanna buy some sunglasses?” She held out a pair of sunglasses for sale. They looked, how shall I say, stolen.

“No thanks,” I said. Then, as an afterthought, I added, “I’ve already got sunglasses.” I used my index finger to point to the sunglasses that were sitting right on my face.

I’m not sure if it’s just my nature or if society at large has done this to me, but I am constantly afraid of letting weird people be embarrassed by their weirdness. As if to let them realize how rude or offensive or strange they are being would be somehow rude on my part. I felt really strongly that I had to not let this awkward teenager feel awkward, so much so that I actually took some action on her behalf. She asked someone else who had strolled up next to us if he wanted to buy some sunglasses, and before he had a chance to feel awkward, I said, “They’re really nice sunglasses.” He said no anyway. And it was still awkward. Oh, well.

Another example: on the Red Line tonight, we walked into a train car and were instantly blasted with absolutely the worst stench I have had the misfortune to breathe in a very long time. It was the perfect combination of vomit and shit-in-the-pants, and it was very clearly emanating from the homeless guy sitting down on the left. We turned right and wandered further into the train car away from him, but it was no use. And I felt very strongly that we should not move on further to the other side of the car, lest we make this man feel like we are avoiding him. What the hell? Of course we’re avoiding him, he smells like puke and crap. And urine, too. And eggplant. It was horrible.

What’s the deal with that? Why should I be so reluctant to let total strangers know that they are offending me? If I am offended by your body odor, you need to know. But I don’t want you to feel embarrassed. If you’re fucking creepy and want to sleep with me and/or sell me stolen merchandise, you need to know that that’s not normal. But I don’t want you to feel that you’re not normal.

I want total strangers to have their dignity, even at the expense of my comfort.

Maybe I’m a sucker…