I really wanted to write on here earlier this morning in order to procrastinate and now, I will do the same. Also, Trevor wrote this nice, long diatribe about Lent and how he’s given up Lent for Lent and how Unitarians don’t do Lent, they do Happy Hour. And I was thinking about a real response to this well thought-out post, and I thought, “What can I write that could be a thoughtful response beyond, ‘Now I want In-n-Out, bastard’?” And in thinking about that, I tangentially moved into contemplating the proper grammar for the above sentence and forgot entirely the point that I wanted to make. Alas. Ahem. So, essentially I’m instead writing this megapost about writing a post and actually using quite a lot of words to say absolutely nothing. You can expect great things from me, dear readers, in posts to come. I have another blog, to which I am the only contributor, which also recounts the inanities of my life with similar verbosity; it is linked on the side of the page, right over there —–>

On Lent:
My husband, Bil, also apparently a contributor on this site, though he has not yet made his presence known *Ahem* has decided to give up beef for Lent. A brief note on Bil: he is not Catholic, nor was he raised with any sort of strong religious conviction, and when we got married, we pretty much took “God” out of the ceremony entirely, much to the dismay of the paternal minister who performed the ceremony (who might also be related to one of the posters here…). I was raised Catholic by a Presbyterian mother and a very loosely practicing Catholic father in a neighborhood that was primarily Jewish — Jewish enough so that I can still recite some of the Hebrew prayers that I heard over and over again at a variety of Seders, Shabbats, and Bar and Bat Mitzvahs that I attended in the course of my youth. My Christian parents were somewhat concerned when, at age 5, I asked if my religious ed teacher at church was, in fact, Jewish. And imagine my shock at finding out that Mary, the Blessed Virgin, was Gasp! a Jew! I tell you all of this to paint a picture of my own deep confusion of religion as a child, and to present a view of where I’m coming from when I say that I am, these days, an atheist. I am also a very lapsed confirmed Catholic, though, through no fault of my own, so I guess if there is a heaven, I could still possibly go there. Hell seems like a lot more fun, though, honestly.

But back to Bil and his quest to give up beef for 40 days. I do not fully understand why he would do such a thing. We do not celebrate Easter, we do not go to church, we do not even celebrate the birth of Jesus in a manger. Although, we do buy into the commercialism surrounding Christmas, and will probably pass on this very secularized, pseudo-Christian version of the winter solstice to our children, when we have them. So it baffles me that Bil, this secular philosopher of sorts, would try to observe a Catholic doctrine so steeped in religious tradition.

As a child, trying to find some sort of cohesion of faith, I used to give up certain pleasures in observance of Lent: I never ate meat on the Fridays contained therein and I would fast on Good Friday. Now I give up nothing, I eat whatever I want on Fridays, and often eat fast food on Good Friday. And I wonder if these very different actions arose from the same basic motivation on my part — the motivation of spite. You see, I am a very spiteful person. I played the trumpet in high school for two years longer than I really wanted to in order to spite my misogynist band teacher who wanted no girls in his jazz bands. That’s how spiteful I am. And when I was a child, I think I might have wanted to not only show my father (kind of a Christmas-and-Easter Catholic) how devout a Catholic I could be, but also to show my mother (a well-meaning Presbyterian who would routinely “forget” that no-meat-on-Friday rule and feed us hot dogs on Friday nights) that we Catholics were a different breed. Now I am spiteful of all those who try to bring religious belief to me. I mean really, how does giving up something that you enjoy — something that gives you pleasure and makes the world that much more wonderful — bring one closer to God, anyway? How spiteful is the God that makes his followers give up some simple pleasure? For me, these small, simple things — chocolate, candy, television, even swearing — are often the things that help me to get through my day (judge all you want). Isn’t there something somewhat moral about enjoying one’s life to the fullest every day that we have? And aren’t these little things one safe, moral way that we can do that?

I know that I may get backlash from some people regarding my calling God spiteful, but please do remember that I am a staunch atheist and humanist. I have no formal religion that I call my own, no system of belief that inspires awe or joy or fear, no faith. What I do have is a basic, possibly malformed, oddly optimistic belief in the basic goodness of people. I believe that it is in our best interests as humans to try to actively get along with one another, that our species actually to a great extent depends upon it. We can and have and will again create great things. Art is a powerful and provocative form of communication that makes great contributions not only to aesthetic sensibilities, but to our own evolution as a species.

When I look at religion today, I see a mess of fanatics trying, almost selfishly to save heretics’ souls. I see Christian extremists embattled in the political arena of this country, I see Muslim extremists embattled in the Middle East, I see Jewish Zionists battling for a decrepit piece of land in Palestine. I see the Christian leaders of this supposedly secular country blaming many of their own ills on not just extremists, but on all Muslims the world over. I see people trying to convert me while I’m trying to enjoy a cup of coffee, and when I argue with them that I have, in fact, read the Bible, and I still have found no Christian salvation, I am told cheerlessly that I am going to hell. I see so many combative forces at work under the auspices of religious fervor that I cannot comprehend affiliating myself with any religion. Certainly the three major so-called Western Religions (that naturally all evolved in the Middle East) are not the only religious alternatives available to me, but they are the three that I know the best, and I feel similarly about the lot. I am spiteful enough as it is, must I really align myself with any such disagreeable sect in order to propagate my own anger, spite, and misunderstanding?

So, to conclude, my husband may be in the midst of a misguided, but heartfelt attempt to learn something deeper of himself, but for me, it is enough to know that my own misguided fortitude and spite are keeping me afloat on this rock in the universe. Instead of giving up something tangible (like beef) or humorous (like Lent) for this most religious of Catholic seasons, I am eschewing religion entirely. A devout atheist could do no better.

That is all.

Filed by Devon at 11:56 pm under Religion, Atheism