Filed by Lance at 8:34 pm under General

…here’s an early draft of a poem for you. Your thoughts are welcome — just leave them in the comments section below, or e-mail me!

[Initial Draft] “The Architecture”

I love the way this city
looks in light.
When I wake early
every tower glowing red
and every evening
all the glass is turned to gold
as light grows dim.

Staring at the buildings,
the effect is modern music.
There are repeating forms
with subtle variations
each of which should be
examined and enjoyed,
inhaled, prior to moving
to the next.

It is the architecture
of your hair that I enjoy.
The cascade
of patterns
and subtle variations
in the forms that fall
towards earth.

I’m not sure if this feels finished, or if I need to draw it to more of a close. Now that I read it in actual typeface that aren’t my chaotic scrawl in a notebook I always have with me on the ‘L,’ I’m leaning towards, “No. Not finished.” I also have the lines

There are repeating forms
with subtle variations
as the component elements descend

jotted down. Like I said, very early draft.