“What is the “gay agenda” anyway? Is it assless wedding gowns?” — Margaret Cho

“Marriage is one of the basic civil rights of man, fundamental to our very existence and survival. To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State’s citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.” — Earl Warren, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States; Loving vs. Virginia, 1967

For want of the ability to officially voice my opposition to Proposition 8 in my home state on Election Day, this past Saturday I joined 2,000 others in a massive protest against the measure — itself just one cog in a wheel that spanned the entire country in one coordinated effort. I feel the events of the day were covered more eloquently by Bil’s earlier post, so I will say simply that twice in as many weeks I have joyfully marched the streets of Downtown Chicago, and at no other point in my adult life have I ever felt so connected as I do now. Regardless of what lies ahead for us as a community and for us as a nation, there is relief and hope in the knowledge that this is a city of kindred spirits.
(Keep reading…)

Filed by Trevor at 1:59 am under Gay Agenda, Politics, Fightin' Words, Activism, Homophobia, Love
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Ever the supportive straight guy, I went with Trevor downtown Chicago this weekend to the protest against California’s Prop 8. It was a rally that turned into a march throughout the Loop and up the Magnificent Mile. It was, as they say, really something. It’s hard to describe right now beyond the basic facts, so I guess I can start with those. The rally had several speakers, highlights of which included Pastor Sherrie Lowly of the Berry United Methodist Church in Lincoln Square, which, coincidentally, was the location of a play I saw the night before; also speaking was Illinois State Representative (13th District) Greg Harris. The 13th District apparently includes my neighborhood…also coincidentally.

The events of the day are still swirling in my head, so I apologize if this post seems loosely structured. I’m sorry. I’M SORRY, PEOPLE! I AM BUT ONE MAN!
(Keep reading…)

Filed by Bil at 10:54 pm under Social Issues, Gay Agenda, Fightin' Words, Homophobia
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I wrote “LOVE” on my arm today to show support for those battling depression, self-mutliation, destructive addictions, or contemplating suicide. There is an organization called To Write Love on Her Arms and today was their official annual day where you do this.
(Keep reading…)

Filed by Bil at 10:27 pm under Social Issues, Love, Depression
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All righty then.

It’s been a while. Apologies. I have a handful of excuses for disappearing from this blog, one of them being the absence of my own personal laptop at home. There have been three posts in the last two and a half months, and they were so far in between that tipyourwaiter.org can be considered “dormant” for that time period.

But that time period is over now. I have my laptop again. And I didn’t even have to bribe anyone.
(Keep reading…)

Filed by Bil at 11:20 pm under General, Activism
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Ordinarily I don’t like to just leave a link to a news article without really expanding on it by adding my own thoughts, but I don’t have much time right now and I really wanted to put these out there:

1) Totally Gay Happy Meals/It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go

A sharply-written (and delightfully snarky) article about how the Religious Right has lost its power over America because the public has been bored with them for some time now.

2) McCain’s Problem: Not Age, but Condition

An article by Alec Baldwin for the Huffington Post with a very rational and appropriate warning not to alienate our elders by labeling John McCain as simply “old.”

Read and discuss. I’ll be back. (Coming up next – probably – all about the most interesting rehearsal process I have ever experienced, and some shameless personal promotion for the play I’m acting in…)

Filed by Bil at 1:41 pm under Religion, Gay Agenda, GOP, Damn Hippies, Politics, Fightin' Words, Homophobia
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Bil told me he has been waiting for me to respond to the court ruling legalizing marriage for gays and lesbians in California, so after a week, here I am. I certainly don’t wish my silence to be misconstrued as apathy toward the subject matter; rather, it’s difficult to articulate exactly what I’m feeling right now. But I’ll try.

Right. So about last Thursday. Half of the TVs where I work during the day are tuned to CNN, and when I saw the initial reports about gay marriage being legalized in a certain part of the world, the location was ambiguous (the sound is muted, so all I had to go on were the banners), so I assumed it was another European country that had made the ruling. In fact, I was in the middle of my usual speech about how California, while not explicitly legalizing gay marriage, has the most liberal domestic partnership laws in the nation, when it became clear that it was, in fact, my home state that had overturned the ban on gay marriage passed in 2000. But I didn’t cheer. Maybe I should have. Instead, I stood with my hand over my mouth and wondered why the hell I ever left to begin with.
(Keep reading…)

Filed by Trevor at 11:22 pm under Politics, Activism, Love
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California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban

The good news is piling up fast around here. Case in point: California courts declared that a ban on gay marriage is illegal. This post comes a couple days after the actual news, and I can’t really say anything poetic about it all, even though I want to, but you must understand that this makes me really happy. Super-happy. Not because I’m gay and unmarried (I am neither), but it’s kind of a point of shame for me that our country still thinks that gay folks are second-class citizens. Other countries have legalized it. We haven’t. In fact, in some of our states here in the USA, marriage between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is constitutionally forbidden. That means permanently no-no. And while I am not a member of the oppressed party, the oppression appalls me.

So, when I heard that my home state has decided that discrimination of this sort is – yes – unconstitutional, I felt a massive surge of pride run through my veins. I felt the same pride about Massachusetts, because I lived there for one year. But one year does not compare to the 23 years I spent living in California. That’s 23 times more joy and relief and hopefulness for the future that I’m getting right now. Rock on, California!

Unfortunately, I also cannot help but remain somewhat cynical. I know our country pretty well, and I think there will be some trouble down the road because of this (this being an election year and all). And there has been a rather strong response from both sides of the debate. But I’m not going to bother with all that just yet. Fuck it all for now. For now, I’m just going to enjoy it. Hooray, progress!

Filed by Bil at 8:58 pm under Social Issues, Gay Agenda, Politics, Activism, Love
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…the relevance of existing cultural activity.

These are the last six words of the mission statement of a theatre company which, like a newborn galaxy, is ready to burst into existence with a grand display of shining stars and gravitational hullabaloo. (…Except without all the stars.)

Every now and then, I think about how much art there is that I don’t see. Especially temporary art, like plays that only run for a certain amount of time and then are never produced again. Or some orange gates in Central Park. Or ice sculptures.
(Keep reading…)

Filed by Bil at 9:08 pm under Social Issues, Pop Culture, The Arts
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I’m currently reading Maureen Dowd’s terrific 2005 best-seller Are Men Necessary?: When Sexes Collide.

Dowd is a gender/political columnist for the New York Times, and her book is witty, engrossing, and very well-researched. I may have a crush.

In addition to the evolutionary/biological tidbits I am picking up (some scientists believe that all men will be sterile within 125,000 years!) (within my lifetime, a lesbian couple will be able to conceive a child by implanting DNA from one egg into the other egg–no sperm needed!), Dowd has a lot to say about dating, sex, and post-feminism gender games. Fascinating stuff.

I shall here quote from Chapter Four: Why the Well-Hung Y is Wilting, Even as the X is Excelling. In this part of the chapter, Dowd confronts the oft-lamented double standard whereby men who sleep around are seen as studs, and women who do the same are labled sluts. It’s been talked to death, of course, but I particularly like this quote from Natalie Angier’s book Woman, which I guess I’ll have to pick up next (as soon as I finish reading that book I lifted from Lucas’s NYC apt without his knowledge):

“Women are said to have lower sex drives than men, yet they are universally punished if they display evidence to the contrary — if they disobey their “natural” inclination toward a stifled libido. Women supposedly have a lower sex drive than men do, yet it is not low enough. There is still just enough of a lingering female infidelity impulse that cultures everywhere have had to gird against it by articulating a rigid dichotomy with menacing implications for those who fall on the wrong side of it. There is still enough lingering female infidelity to justify infibulation, purdah, claustration. Men have the naturally higher sex drive, yet all the laws, customs, punishments, shame, strictures, mystiques and antimystiques are aimed with full hominid fury at that tepid, sleepy, hypoactive creature, the female libido. “
…
“Would a man find the prospect of a string of partners so appealing if the following rules were applied: that no matter how much he may like a particular woman and be pleased by her performance and want to sleep with her again, he will have no say in the matter and will be dependent on her mood and good graces for all future contact; that each act of casual sex will cheapen his status and make him increasingly less attractive to other women; and that society will not wink at his randiness but rather sneer at him and think him pathetic, sullied, smaller than life? Until men are subjected to the same severe standards and threat of censure as women are, and until they are given the lower hand in a so-called casual encounter from the start, it is hard to insist with such self-satisfaction that, hey, it’s natural, men like a lot of sex with a lot of people and women don’t.”

Heady stuff. Smart, too. I’ve always said there’s no such thing as “casual sex,” but these ladies say it better. You can link to Angier’s article, Men, Women, Sex, and Darwin here and you can get Dowd’s superb book here. If you’re so inclined. By which I mean female. Because, let’s face it, I don’t think many of you (hetero) guys are clamoring to see yourselves painted with her brush. Though, in one of my favorite quotes in all literature, Dowd admits, “I don’t understand men. I don’t even understand what I don’t understand about men. They’re a most inscrutable bunch, really.”

Filed by Chelsea at 11:58 am under Pop Culture, Gender Identity, The Media
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Tonight is the night of Easter Vigil.
The Holiest Night of the Year.
While Christmas may get the most attention and inspire warm fuzzies and gift-giving frenzies all over the world, even in people who have no idea what’s actually being commemorated, Easter is actually the biggest deal in the religious world. Everybody has a birthday. Not everybody rises from the dead.

I’ve just been to a three-hour Easter Vigil mass and I feel great!
I feel enlivened.
I feel I have a clean heart.
(Keep reading…)

Filed by Chelsea at 11:21 pm under Religion, Social Issues, Catholicism
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